A mother's tear

I still cant believe that i am a mummy now. As every mother wish all the best for their child, so do I.
During my pregnancy i always want breastfeed my baby when he is born.
The day he was born, i tried to breastfeed him but failed because my milk still not came out yet.
I tried again the next day, but still failed. So he has to depend on formula milk. the day 4, i realised that my milk actually comes out, i tried again to breastfeed him but he refused. I was so sad. yes i am said and thought that he maybe already confused with my milk and the formula. Later after that, my aunt told me, he cant breastfeed because i actually have inverted n*pple. Yess, i have big b**bs but no (flat) n*pple? I am so SAD. I only learn that i have this inverted n*pple when i give birth and i actually showing to my aunt my breast. Sebelum ni kan mana mau kasi tgk urang..malu2.
So the nurse suggested to pump my milk. And to shorten the story, my milk only comes so little. I pump my milk frequently so that my baby can get antibody from mum's milk. and he has to depend on formula...i am so sad that i cant breastfeed him. Yess, i actually crying when i think of this. it is my dream to breastfeed him from the beginning, but because of my inverted n*pple he cant. I am so jealous to those who can breastfeed their baby. And i'm so pity with my Caelan who depend on formula milk from the beginning and he breastfeed my milk from the bottle.