The BIG LOST

it's been awhile i didnt write in my blog. it is ot that i dunt have time or busy but i just dunt have mood (or i can say good mood). everytime i wanna start to write, then i will go blur or blank. tjis early of JUN which is 11 Jun 2008, i received a call from my aunty about 2.30 am. i received a very bad news which is very unacceptable. i receive the news with unstopable cries. so lucky when honey is just next to me.
I Just lost my beloved mum. I cant believe she is gone, gone because God has just call her to rest in peace in other lives. It is still hard to think of this, it is pass 2 week of her lost, i still feel she is around us. she still can do everything for her children. i know she got high-blood, but then there is no sign that she will sleep forever. Before the time, (my dad's story) she still do the house chores, still manage to feed the dogs and do her daily routine in the evening.
I still dont believe till now that she is gone. But i still have faith in God. I believe God is with her. It is just that, my mum is everything. we still have lotsa planning. Both of us planning so many things. But everything seems so dull nowadays. everyone feel the Lost. I dunt have any feeling to plan anything.
My mum is the great person in her lives. She is great in everything she do. People know her as a teacher. We(families) know her as a great cook, as a good listener and she is everything. Every weekend my aunts and uncle will come to our house. Every weekend people will think our house got party but actually it just a gathering. My mum never forget to cook for everyone. She is just nice to everyone. She helps whatever she can, she always makes herself available when she is needed somewhere.
Now i just miss her. Miss her very much.i reaaaaaaaally feel the LOST. Maybe people can see my smiling just like nothing happen, but deep inside me, i feel lost. Deep inside me, i feel alone. My mum is everything. I always try to make her happy. try to fulfil all her dream especially after i started working. I am trying to give whatever her need.

Dear mum,

i know u are gone,

But u will never forgotten,

ur smile, ur kindhearted, ur love,

and everything about u.

we, daddy and all ur children,

will always pray for u.

May ur soul rest in Peace.

We love u